Giftedness is often misunderstood. Many believe it's solely about intellectual advancement. This misconception leads to viewing heightened emotionality, vivid imaginations, insatiable psychomotor activity, and high sensory responsiveness as disorders.In reality, these traits (and more) can equally be signs of giftedness and negative expressions of them stem from unmet needs, pent-up feelings (stress, trauma, or excitement), or a lack of information (about themselves, the expectations of them, and the outer world).
A more accurate understanding of giftedness fits into five categories (four if you follow Gagné’s Differentiated Model). Your child may exhibit one, two, or all five to be considered gifted and to benefit from having their unique developmental needs met.
Today, I’m sharing just a small part of what's needed to address a gifted child’s unique needs. My coaching packages offer a comprehensive and holistic approach._______________________________________________________________
Before diving in, I want to clarify my use of the term 'high potential' instead of 'high achievers. While high potential children can also be high achievers, achievement is not a measure of giftedness. My goal is not to push for achievements but to foster a love of learning and resilience. Achievement may follow when developmental needs are met, but it’s not something to strive for as an end in itself.I also need to add some obligatory caveats.
Timing Matters:
I separate the following apps into daily, seasonal, and annual categories for good reason. Our culture often leads us to overestimate what can be done in the short term and underestimate the long-term. Recognising these cycles helps us set realistic expectations and build perseverance and grit in our gifted kids. I also schedule these for before school, not after.
Dopamine Augmentation:
It's crucial to protect our children from apps designed to be addictive. Children cannot be expected to self-regulate against these features. When introducing a new app, I first use it alone. I learn about and then turn off notifications, pings, dings, gongs and chimes. If they can't be disabled in the settings, then I choose another app. Period.
Grayscale is my best friend:
Using grayscale on screens can reduce the likelihood of developing control patterns. In our house, we use these apps in colour before midday and greyscale after. For teens, try a whole household experiment: compare a typical day’s screen usage with a day in greyscale. It’s really surprising.
Tech as a Tool of Connection:
I have been fortunate to have avoided using screens as a babysitter. If a screen is needed as a carer, it signals a need to review our support systems and structures and investigate how we can make changes there, as opposed to learning how to manage screen time.
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Okay, so with those caveats in place, let's look at the actual programs themselves.
For almost 2 years, Elevate has been a daily staple. It's promoted as a brain training app for ages 13 and up but it is essentially high school English. It covers writing, reading, spelling, vocabulary, and basic mental maths making high school maths far more approachable.
How we use it:
In settings, turn off all sounds and timed games to reduce stress.
We have a shared agreement: 10 minutes a day and 5 games. Last year it was 5 minutes and 3 games resulting in high English exam results (not the goal, but an indicator of efficacy).
Inside the app, select 'activities' at the bottom of the screen. This is where my child chooses his games. Choice and autonomy are vital, but we also have an agreement to focus on potential growth areas, visible in the activities screen.
I use growth mindset phrases like “I felt your brain growing through those challenges today” or “It seemed smooth for you today.”
We briefly discuss achievements and challenges afterwards: “What’s one thing you did really well today? What was one of your biggest challenges?”
I set up the next session: “We’ll be back tomorrow at the same time” or “We’ll skip tomorrow as we’re travelling, and resume the day after,” so he knows what to expect.
Attachment play:
I volunteer to be the chair for Body Contact play and add Contingency play. My child (who is now 10) can adjust my position, use my arms as a seatbelt, and press a vibrate ‘button’ on me to make me wriggle. Laughter frees up tension and allows learning to happen.
Look out for:
Some stories in the Comprehension and Details games can be difficult. Avoid these for kids under 8; there are 42 other games to choose from.
Note for homeschoolers:
The study section is great for deeper practice. I would still limit time to 20 minutes a day.
Daily for the past few months, we’ve used Mathspace and love it. It aligns with the Victorian curriculum, so I suggest it for any Australian; US alternatives include Beast Academy and Life of Fred (we've used both). Look at limiting it to 20 minutes a day; 10 minutes for younger kids.
How we use it:
Set the grade level. Consider using accurate WIAT results to know your child's level. Parents and teachers can significantly underestimate where gifted kids are at and they learn to hide their true abilities for several good reasons.
Inside the program (instead of following the directions) on the main screen, you'll see 'dashboard,' 'skills,' and 'textbook.' Click 'skills' and then select 'all skills.'
You'll see sections labeled number, algebra, measurement, geometry, probability, and statistics. Start with the 'check-in' for each section, allowing your child to choose the order. Letting them choose the order may be difficult to hear but that's content for a whole other email.
The initial check-ins will give a score (1-3) inside each circle or remain blank. Focus on improving scores and filling in the blanks by practising skills and doing the much briefer second check-in. We aim to get them all to a two, three, or star for mastery.
Attachment play:
We stand/kneel side by side at the desk or lie on our tummies, engaging in Body Contact play. I’ll also incorporate Nonsense Play throughout by making silly mistakes (like “8 times 6 equals a cabbage”) if he lets me know I am wrong, I will say something like “...ah yes, that reminds me of the last time I was wrong back in 1846”. Nonsense play like this is vital in preventing/undoing perfectionism.
Look out for:
Resist the urge to enforce the order or rate and pace at which your child navigates the program. Resists the urge to teach. Instead, try to learn alongside them and hold space for feelings.
The Australian Maths Trust offers competitions several times a year, which are great if your school offers them. If not, (or if you homeschool) use Problemo’s sandpit to prepare for and then take past exams in mock test conditions. The Bebras challenge also has practice exams.
How we use it:
Once a season (for us it’s during school holidays), spend a short time each day on one or two sandpit questions. Each level has 25-30 questions.
At the end of two weeks, set up mock test conditions at home and do one of the practice tests.
Attachment play:
Make the tests into Power Reversal games, with your child as the teacher and you as the student. Allow them to set up the space as they wish and then to use punishments, threats, bribes or other teaching tools playfully. Act disempowered in a silly way to help them process unhealed trauma or confusion around their experience of learning.
Let them make outrageous test conditions, like having to do it with a finger up your nose or wearing undies on your head. Let them decide the rules.
Look out for:
Avoid reflexive responses to drive the play, teach, or establish specific study habits. Of course these matter but focus on showing up consistently, and your child will embrace the challenges and habits over time.
On an annual basis our family revisits the VIA survey as both a reflective and planning tool. It's a 15 minutes quiz but we slow it down and discuss as we go taking up to an hour. The free survey highlights key character traits and growth opportunities, and afterwards you can purchase a comprehensive report for about $10. It promotes self-inquiry as a keystone to human development.
How we use it:
Complete the survey together as a family. I do this at the same time as planning my child’s (and my own) educational year ahead.
Discuss the results as a family, noting any surprises and what was as expected.
Reflect back on values throughout the year. For example, recently my child came off the soccer field at half time feeling really upset. Alongside empathic listening, I linked his feelings to one his core values being compromised. This provided meaningful validation and context to the intensity he experienced and meant he could return to play swiftly.
Attachment play:
One year we pretended it was a knighthood ceremony, reading out values as bestowals. This year, we did a fashion show, strutting down an imaginary catwalk while reading out values like they were clothing items in funny voices.
These are the four platforms (and caveats) I currently use and i hope they are helpful. I would LOVE to hear any questions or queries you may have.
If you’d like to set up a call to find out more about supporting your gifted child, please use this link. I love supporting parents of gifted kids who are wanting to incorporate Aware Parenting principles into their families.
I also invite you to share your thoughts and experiences with me. Let's continue this conversation and support each other in raising our extraordinary kids. In upcoming newsletters, I'll dive deeper into other specific strategies, share success stories, and offer more tools to support you and your gifted child.
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