Here’s What You Need to Know
If you're reading this, chances are you have a bright or gifted child who isn't thriving in school or their home-based learning. This is more common than you might think. Maybe they're frustrated, disengaged, or acting out in ways that don’t make sense. Maybe you're starting to realise that the education system wasn’t designed with your child in mind, and you're wondering what to do next.
I’ve been there!
After three years of hardcore advocacy, a year of homeschooling, and two school changes, my 10-year-old is entering grade 6 for 2025. He has just finished his first week. He has been grade skipped and subject accelerated to Year 9 and Year 10 in maths, English, and science.
I’m sharing this not to brag, but to show what’s possible when we advocate with clarity and confidence. Through my coaching practice, I’ve helped many parents navigate this journey well before I was able too, and I want to help you, too. Let’s start by tackling three of the biggest myths that hold parents back from pursuing acceleration.
Myth #1: Acceleration Will Solve All the Problems
When your child is suffering from extreme boredom in school, it’s easy to believe that a grade skip or subject acceleration will be the ultimate solution. I hear parents say, “If I could just find a school to accommodate my child’s needs, then the problems would cease.”
The reality? Acceleration is not about removing problems—it’s about swapping lower-quality problems for higher-quality ones. For example, while acceleration can relieve the frustration of underperformance and masking, it may also introduce challenges like navigating mature social topics earlier than peers. These aren’t insurmountable—but they require intentional guidance and open conversations to ensure your child feels supported. The goal isn’t to eliminate challenges altogether but to take eyes-wide-open risks and put safeguards in place so the benefits outweigh potential difficulties.
Myth #2: Gifted Kids Are Intellectually Advanced But Emotionally Immature
It’s common to hear concerns that gifted children “aren’t emotionally ready” to be with older peers. But here’s the key: IQ scores were originally developed as a way to determine mental age.
If your 10-year-old has the cognitive processing of a 14-year-old but is treated like a 10-year-old, frustration is inevitable. Imagine how exhausting it is to be constantly misunderstood, not because of poor communication, but because others don’t recognise your intellectual depth. Add to this an acute awareness of global issues that most children their age don’t even consider, together with a lack of practiced coping skills, and you have a recipe for emotional overload.
Meltdowns and outbursts are not signs of dysfunction—they are often the most appropriate emotional response to a world that refuses to meet them where they are. This is where approaches like Aware Parenting shine—helping children process intense emotions while learning to regulate in a supportive environment. Myth #3: “Let Kids Be Kids”—Acceleration Steals Their Childhood One of the most persistent myths is that acceleration forces children to grow up too fast. In reality, not accelerating can be far more damaging. Holding a gifted child back forces them to adjust to an environment that doesn’t challenge them, leading to boredom, frustration, and social isolation.
When gifted children aren’t surrounded by intellectual peers, they often mask their true selves to fit in. They shrink, they conform, and they exhaust themselves trying to relate to children who don’t think like they do. Over time, this erodes their confidence and sense of self. Acceleration isn’t about pushing kids too hard—it’s about freeing them to be themselves in an environment that meets their needs.
Where Are You in Your Journey?
Every parent of a gifted child reaches this realisation at a different pace. Where do you see yourself?
"I think my child is gifted, but I’m not sure what that means."You’re noticing that your child seems ahead of their peers in some ways, but you’re still gathering information. A good next step is learning more about giftedness and observing your child’s behaviours and frustrations closely.
"I know my child is gifted, but I’m unsure if acceleration is the best path."You might be hearing mixed messages—some educators or family members say acceleration is great, while others warn against it. This is where research cuts through the noise and gives you clarity.
"I’m ready to advocate, but I don’t know exactly how to move forward."You’ve seen the signs, you understand the research, and now it’s time to take action. Whether it’s requesting assessments, pushing for changes in school, or seeking expert support, the next step is advocating with confidence.
No matter where you are on this journey, you’re not alone. The key is moving forward with the right information and support.
Final Thought
If you’re feeling the weight of indecision, wondering if acceleration is the right choice, know this—you are not alone. Many parents stand at this crossroads, unsure of the next step but deeply aware that something needs to change. The fear of making the wrong decision can feel paralysing, but the greater risk is allowing your child to languish in an environment that doesn’t meet their needs.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. With the right support, acceleration doesn’t just change education—it transforms a child’s entire experience of life.
Further reading
Mensa Information Initiative: This resource offers brief reports addressing frequently asked questions about gifted children. (https://www.mensa.org.au/giftedchildren/amii?utm_source=chatgpt.com) mensa.org.au
Victorian Parliamentary Inquiry into the Education of Gifted and Talented Students: A comprehensive report discussing the educational needs and recommendations for gifted and talented students in Victoria.(https://www.parliament.vic.gov.au/4af61c/contentassets/d61bed07c1f444a3a6a6da05fced7965/gifted_and_talented_final_report.pdf)
Davidson Institute – Social & Emotional Needs of Gifted Students: An insightful guide on the social and emotional development of gifted children, providing resources for parents. (https://www.davidsongifted.org/prospective-families/social-emotional-resources/)
Gifted - A Primer for Parents and Educators: A helpful advocacy tool that addresses misconceptions as well as offering case studies and best practices in supporting the education of gifted children. (https://wingitsydney.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Gifted-Primer.pdf)
Aware Parenting Philosophy: An introduction to the Aware Parenting approach, which integrates attachment-style parenting with an understanding of the children's innate stress-release function and the extraordinary power of attachment play. (http://www.awareparenting.com/) Written by Devon Harris
Devon Harris is a Child and Adolescent Behavioural Specialist and parenting coach who helps parents of bright and gifted children understand the developmental needs driving unwanted behaviour. She holds a degree in Youth Studies and has over a decade of experience working directly with young people in both educational and therapeutic settings. Find out more about how to work with her at www.giftedparenting.com.au
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